The Amazing Bouncing Ferret
by Verlotta
Summary: Draco Malfoy wakes up one morning as a ferret. Why? Will he ever be able to change back? And what does Hermione Granger have to do with all of this?


**A/N:** If you are looking for my other story, it has been taken down for repairs. This just kind of popped into my head. Yes, I know what you all are thinking: "NOT ANOTHER HARRY POTTER FAN FICTION!" Ah well. Grin and bear it.

**Disclaimer:** Why do we even NEED this? All you people out there know that I own absolutly nothing.

* * *

Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret, was...well, bouncing. At 6:00 in the morning. Admittedly, an odd time for any one to be bouncing. Especially in the shape of a sleek white rodent. 

The whole situation was odd, really. It had started with the strangest dream...

_He was in the middle of a midnight field. A million stars glowed like icicles above his head. Next to him was a stunning girl, white blond hair billowing in the wind, blue eyes gazing upon him adoringly..._

Thus far, the dream was fairly straight forward. Fairly common too: at least the blonde acted according to the way all normal teenage sluts acted. But then things got a little strange...

_The blonde looked straight at him, flashed a big sparkling white smile, and purred:_

_"Oh Draco, you know I love a sexy ferret..."_

_What. The. Hell._

_And then the blonde started to get bigger and bigger, and the grass seemed longer...wait, was he shrinking? The blonde smiled again, and picked himup. She stroked his tail. Wow, he had a tail?_

_"My little ferret," she crooned "myteensy-weensy Dracy ferret..."Draco wanted to tell her to shut up, he wasn't a ferret, but he couldn't seem to get the words out. And then she started laughing.Louder and louder and louder, until..._

And he was safe in his bed. Thank god, the dream was over. And he was still a ferret.

He was still a ferret?

HE WAS STILL A FERRET!

He could start to freak out now.

* * *

After he had calmed down, Draco curled up with his tail under his nose, and tried to work the situation out. 

He couldn't go to Madame Pomfrey, that was certain. If he did _that_, the entire school would find out. His reputation would be ruined. He would never be able to show his face again. He would have to move to the middle of the Amazon and live in a hut with no toilets or electricity or running water whatsoever. And worst of all, NO WHORES.

Shudder.

How would he live?

Then it hit him.

_The Room of Requirement. _

There were all KINDS of nifty things in there. Surely there was something that could cure his rodent face and turn him back into his beautiful self once more...wait, hadn't the blonde said he was a sexy ferret? That made him feel a little better.

Until he tried to get out the door.

Do you know how HARD it is to turn doorknobs when you are the size of a small cat, and have no opposable thumbs?

That was why he was bouncing.

All he needed to do was land on top of the handle, and hopefully the door would pop open. Draco-the-ferret took a deep breath, and prepared to launch himself at the door again.

* * *

He had made it. The Room of Requirement. The door loomed ahead of him, left ajar as the Room considered his shrunken body. Draco slinked in, slinking being one of the few things ferrets do really well. 

The Room was empty, save for a single book.

Draco groaned (inwardly, of course, ferrets don't groan). A _book_? He was stuck as a furry mammal, and all he got was a _book_? Since there was nothing better to do, however, he nudged the pages open with his nose and began to read.

**_The Ferret Prince_**

_Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince. _

Handsome? Fairly accurate.

_He was a horrible snob. _

WHAT!

_One day, he happened to insult an cranky old wizard. Instantly, he was turned into a ferret. _

Cranky old wizard…seemed to describe Mad-Eye Moody pretty well, without being obscene. After all, this was a CHILDREN'S book.

_He lived in the woods for many months, trying to fend for himself. One day, a beautiful princess came riding in the forest. Since the ferret hadn't kissed a pretty girl in many days, he was getting desperate. He promptly asked the princess for a kiss. The princess, being the sort of girl that would make out with anything that moved, agreed. _

Now we were GETTING somewhere.

_Instantly, the ferret turned back into a prince. He asked the princess if she would marry him, she accepted, and they lived happily ever after. _

_**THE END**_

Okay…THAT was a total waste of time.

But Draco didn't have time to ponder the story any longer, because he could hear footsteps in the hall. Someone was coming…


End file.
